Hey there everyone. Your resident AS chic here.
I have to say that as an Asperger person with a side dish of ADD, I find it increasingly difficult to stay focused on even the tasks I enjoy doing.
In my spare time when I'm not freaking out about one thing or another, I used to write on a daily basis. Yeah, they were mostly fan fictions of TV shows or movies or even books I liked but I still wrote. The numerous notebooks next to my desk tells the tale of all the unfinished stories that I started but haven't finished not to mention the ones I started typing on my computer when I ran out of notebooks to write them in.
Considering the age of my laptop...might have to shift a copy of those to my zip drive in case my laptop decides to melt on me in the future.
But, lately, I've come to a sort of...realization.
I was being lazy with my room a wreck behind me as I watched videos on YouTube. That time sucking void people can spend hours merely watching videos of cats and never be heard from again...or a least till some bodily function forces them to grip back on to reality.
But for me, I was watching my newest addiction: Anna Akana. If you haven't watched any of her videos then go check them out. I can say this with utter confidence that you'll have a rebound back to reality because that's what happened to me.
I was catching up on some of her videos I hadn't seen as she only posts new logs on Monday when I came across one talking about our inner muse. And no, for you band lovers it's not the band Muse but that little creative voice in your head that gives you that spark of desire while you are working that infuses you with energy and life and everything flows out easier and better.
While I was watching, her words struck a chord with me. She said that while we expect "the muse" to be some happy little fairy that comes and sprinkles inspiration dust over our heads that gets us up and working...that the muse is more like some lazy roommate laying on the couch drinking beer and eating pizza that notices we are really trying to work and it finally stumbles over and gives us the nudge we need.
And really...that's completely true. Although that may be a "well duh" moment for some, it took someone else voicing it to sink in to my mind.
The muse just doesn't come along, drag me out of a slump, put a pencil in my hand, and put a gun to my head to force me to write. No only I can make myself get up and just start writing and eventually the ideas will just start to flow outwards.
She was right about something else as well. That if you really are dedicated to doing something that it's you that has to do it and if you aren't then you have to be the one to go after what you are really passionate about. To each their own.
It took the rest of the day and most of the next for it all to really sink in and reach those ideas I have buried in my head under the weight of unwatched YouTube videos, reruns of TV shows I've seen a hundred times, and hours playing games on my computer.
Once it unearthed those ideas I had long pushed aside saying I was too tired or too busy, I discovered that if I really wanted those things to happen that I couldn't give excuses any more. I would just have to make time. If that mean not watching another episode of The Walking Dead, Roseanne, or Criminal Minds...well then I would just have to miss it and stay on track. Or get up earlier and I knew that wasn't going to happen without some other motivation.
What does all this have to do about Asperger's?
Well, I've decided to pick my pen back up with a new writing project. The whole point of my blog here is that people just don't know enough about Aspergers. Most people don't even know it exists.
If you go out looking for books on the subject there might be one or two with some personal basis behind it but for the majority they are very formal doctoral things with more medical jargon than you ever wanted to hear on a subject.
What about the people who all ready know they have it or those who have a friend, loved one, or family member who has it and they are having trouble relating to them because of the disorder?
That's my idea. I'm going to take all my personal experiences and knowledge by simply living day to day with Asperger's and write a book.
And the beauty of it is, it's going to be completely unique. No one sees things the exact same way I do. No one can understand the way I comprehend things or the way I get confused by things.
What if by writing out a book where I describe my reactions in various situations like I do here on this blog in a book that more people can get their hands on someone finds out they aren't as alone as they thought? Or maybe that family member, friend, or loved one who is trying to understand better the mind behind their AS other finally can begin to understand the right questions to ask to understand them better.
And this might be far fetched, but what if an employer was looking at an AS person as a candidate for a job and could read this book and see what potential they have within them and get the knowledge they need to give them a chance?
Again, that is pretty far fetched even to me but if one doesn't start dreaming and hoping then how will they ever start reaching for those things they truly want?
Like a quote I saw the other day said: There is only room for doubt or faith in your mind.
If you doubt then you really don't have faith and if you have faith then you are without doubt. Maybe not all the time but you will bounce back and let go of those things you can't control and take hold of those things you can.
So, I'm going to grab hold with both hands and fight for my dreams instead of sitting back and thinking they will never happen. Because they certainly can if I just watch life being lived and don't join in.
I will give updates on my progress as I can. My goal is to write one chapter a day on this story and one for fun so I don't burn out my mind on the same book and let it fall to the wayside.
Keep hope alive and reach for those things you truly want for yourself. If you don't give up that hope then you can get there because no one else can get you where you want to go but yourself.
I have to say that as an Asperger person with a side dish of ADD, I find it increasingly difficult to stay focused on even the tasks I enjoy doing.
In my spare time when I'm not freaking out about one thing or another, I used to write on a daily basis. Yeah, they were mostly fan fictions of TV shows or movies or even books I liked but I still wrote. The numerous notebooks next to my desk tells the tale of all the unfinished stories that I started but haven't finished not to mention the ones I started typing on my computer when I ran out of notebooks to write them in.
Considering the age of my laptop...might have to shift a copy of those to my zip drive in case my laptop decides to melt on me in the future.
But, lately, I've come to a sort of...realization.
I was being lazy with my room a wreck behind me as I watched videos on YouTube. That time sucking void people can spend hours merely watching videos of cats and never be heard from again...or a least till some bodily function forces them to grip back on to reality.
But for me, I was watching my newest addiction: Anna Akana. If you haven't watched any of her videos then go check them out. I can say this with utter confidence that you'll have a rebound back to reality because that's what happened to me.
I was catching up on some of her videos I hadn't seen as she only posts new logs on Monday when I came across one talking about our inner muse. And no, for you band lovers it's not the band Muse but that little creative voice in your head that gives you that spark of desire while you are working that infuses you with energy and life and everything flows out easier and better.
While I was watching, her words struck a chord with me. She said that while we expect "the muse" to be some happy little fairy that comes and sprinkles inspiration dust over our heads that gets us up and working...that the muse is more like some lazy roommate laying on the couch drinking beer and eating pizza that notices we are really trying to work and it finally stumbles over and gives us the nudge we need.
And really...that's completely true. Although that may be a "well duh" moment for some, it took someone else voicing it to sink in to my mind.
The muse just doesn't come along, drag me out of a slump, put a pencil in my hand, and put a gun to my head to force me to write. No only I can make myself get up and just start writing and eventually the ideas will just start to flow outwards.
She was right about something else as well. That if you really are dedicated to doing something that it's you that has to do it and if you aren't then you have to be the one to go after what you are really passionate about. To each their own.
It took the rest of the day and most of the next for it all to really sink in and reach those ideas I have buried in my head under the weight of unwatched YouTube videos, reruns of TV shows I've seen a hundred times, and hours playing games on my computer.
Once it unearthed those ideas I had long pushed aside saying I was too tired or too busy, I discovered that if I really wanted those things to happen that I couldn't give excuses any more. I would just have to make time. If that mean not watching another episode of The Walking Dead, Roseanne, or Criminal Minds...well then I would just have to miss it and stay on track. Or get up earlier and I knew that wasn't going to happen without some other motivation.
What does all this have to do about Asperger's?
Well, I've decided to pick my pen back up with a new writing project. The whole point of my blog here is that people just don't know enough about Aspergers. Most people don't even know it exists.
If you go out looking for books on the subject there might be one or two with some personal basis behind it but for the majority they are very formal doctoral things with more medical jargon than you ever wanted to hear on a subject.
What about the people who all ready know they have it or those who have a friend, loved one, or family member who has it and they are having trouble relating to them because of the disorder?
That's my idea. I'm going to take all my personal experiences and knowledge by simply living day to day with Asperger's and write a book.
And the beauty of it is, it's going to be completely unique. No one sees things the exact same way I do. No one can understand the way I comprehend things or the way I get confused by things.
What if by writing out a book where I describe my reactions in various situations like I do here on this blog in a book that more people can get their hands on someone finds out they aren't as alone as they thought? Or maybe that family member, friend, or loved one who is trying to understand better the mind behind their AS other finally can begin to understand the right questions to ask to understand them better.
And this might be far fetched, but what if an employer was looking at an AS person as a candidate for a job and could read this book and see what potential they have within them and get the knowledge they need to give them a chance?
Again, that is pretty far fetched even to me but if one doesn't start dreaming and hoping then how will they ever start reaching for those things they truly want?
Like a quote I saw the other day said: There is only room for doubt or faith in your mind.
If you doubt then you really don't have faith and if you have faith then you are without doubt. Maybe not all the time but you will bounce back and let go of those things you can't control and take hold of those things you can.
So, I'm going to grab hold with both hands and fight for my dreams instead of sitting back and thinking they will never happen. Because they certainly can if I just watch life being lived and don't join in.
I will give updates on my progress as I can. My goal is to write one chapter a day on this story and one for fun so I don't burn out my mind on the same book and let it fall to the wayside.
Keep hope alive and reach for those things you truly want for yourself. If you don't give up that hope then you can get there because no one else can get you where you want to go but yourself.
