My Thoughts on the Grieving "Process"

Hey there everyone.

I know it's been quite a while since I last posted here. Well, things have been very crazy and up and down around my life over the past few weeks and that leads me to why I'm deciding to talk about grief and it's "process".

Back in February, my father passed away due to a heart attack that none of us saw coming. We can only assume that he must have been feeling ill but he never truly spoke of it to us. Nor did he go to the hospital for any of the issues he was obviously having that he liked to deny.

And I suppose here is a good a place as any to jump right into the thick of things.

You might be wondering why I put quote marks around the word process. Well, to be completely honest, when it comes to grieving I believe that everyone grieves in their own way and in their own order. I'm sure most people know of the typical fashion that science claims that we all grieve. However, I think they don't take into account other factors and that's where I believe having Asperger's Syndrome comes into play along with my own personal mindset.

There are books galore that talk about grieving and ways to go about it and even quite a few about those with autism and even Asperger Syndrome people grieving as well.

Now, if you want to read those books that talk about how things are different for those like us, I'm not saying you shouldn't. That's your personal decision to make. But again, I believe here that while it might be a good guide that a book shouldn't be the deciding factor in how you decide to grieve. Things might hit you in a different way than the book describes and it might make you feel bad that you don't follow that "process" and therefore force yourself to feel or act that way although you aren't ready to.

Also, people look at death and how they want to deal with their lives after someone dear to them as passed. Even here each culture has different views on death and how they choose to go about it. In New Orleans, a band plays a somber tune while leading everyone to the cemetery but when they leave they lead everyone back out playing an upbeat tune in a way of celebrating that person's life. Other cultures instead of grieving first, look at the positive side. They remember the very best parts of that person's life and actively strive to live everyday in honor of that person to be the best they can be.

As for me, I personally feel as though I am following that second path. While I can admit there are times emotion overwhelms me and I start to cry, that eventually passes and I move on. The rest of my time is spent actively working to live like I knew he would want me to live. As my dad used to say: "I don't want to see my baby girl upset." He knows I miss him. He knows that I love him. And I don't think he thinks any less of me because I'm not crying at all hours and constantly worrying. I do believe he prefers seeing me working to achieve everything he knew I could be and do. He wouldn't want me to feel bad that I'm not feeling bad enough.

The best way I can summarize this was from an episode of Roseanne. Roseanne's father had passed and her daughter told her that she hadn't cried yet and that she felt bad because she hadn't. Roseanne's response was: you can only feel what you feel. This is very true. If you feel sad then you can be sad but once that passes you can slowly pick the pieces back up and carry on again. But if you don't feel bad, it's not wrong. It just means you have been given the opportunity to start to move on with life and that you should take advantage of it.

Sure I'm not the highest authority on grieving and my ramblings here can be considered a book as well. So don't just take my word for it. I highly recommend talking to the people around you. Friends, family, co-workers, teachers, etc. Write it out, talk it out. Do whatever comes most naturally to you.

Essentially that's all I'm saying here. Grief is a personal process and you are the person who decides how you will go about it. While you can take someone else's advice, you aren't obligated to take it right then but keep it as an option should your way not work the way you might hope.

As for me, I'm gonna just keep my head up. Keep working on my life and do what I feel is the right thing for me. I'm going to make big changes but only on my terms.

That's the advice I will end on. As best stated by Dolly Parton: "Find out who you are and do it on purpose."

My Thoughts on the Word "Disorder"

For all who are interested, here's my story: An Aspie's Life: The Untold and Unknown Story

Sometimes it just sucks

Ya know

I keep talking about all these great things about being an Aspie. All the things you can do. All the misunderstandings that can come with others lack of knowledge and such. Those great people that did these great things.

But, I haven't really gone the other way yet. Being as it's close to Christmas I know it doesn't seem like the proper time but it really is.

Christmas is by far one of the most stressful holidays we as people ever have to go through. Every one has heard of the scores of people that actually get trampled on Black Friday. The insane parking issues. All for what? So much emphasis is being placed on what your getting and/or how much you are giving.

*takes a breath*

Sometimes being and Aspie just sucks. It's almost physically painful sometimes. You may be doing everything right and the way you are supposed to and you can still hit rock bottom. It doesn't mean that you aren't working hard enough. It could mean you are working too hard. However, even if you are doing just enough you are going to have bad days.

There is absolutely no way around this at all. Yeah, that knowledge sucks. You can still go from having the best day to having the worst in a manner of moments.

Just know that when things get bad for you. You've done too much. You can't get away. You snap at your friends or family and they can't understand why. In those moments, they are a part of you and there's nothing that can change that. Just move on with your day. Make what apologies you have to and keep moving. Looking back will only make you fall.

It'll suck but only as long as you let it.

NaNoWriMo Success

Catching Up and Freaking Out

Well, things have been super crazy for me lately.

NaNoWriMo is in full swing for me. I have two stories I'm working on and at times I feel like I'm losing my mind with all of this. I think, why did I even do this to myself in the first place.

Then, I'll see something or something will happen and I realize why I'm doing this.

Just a quick update before I jump into my craziness. So far my Asperger book I've decided to call An Aspie's Life is up to 18,993 words. That leaves another 31,007 to write before the end of November. Now, I'm not even remotely sure that I'm going to get it completely done by the end of the month. To me "completely done" means that not only have a written it but I've also edited it for content. Here's hoping I can at least finish writing out that many words by the end of November.

Now, time to delve into my craziness that really set me back a bit on my story writing.

While the person involved with this little story feels really bad about what happened, if they do read this then I want to say that I don't blame you for what happened. It's not your fault but unforeseen circumstances threw our well made plans out of balance. That's what threw me and my mind for a loop that hard.

So, for the rest of you. You might be wondering what it is I'm talking about.

Well, I had decided that since I had so much writing to do for my stories that I really wanted to get done, that I was going to make a day "a writing day". I wouldn't do anything but write. Sure, once in a while I knew I should take breaks so my fingers wouldn't cramp up on me. But I had a goal that I wanted to do.

Now, I don't exactly get up early in the morning. Truthfully, my wake up time is usually 10 am.  Not exactly morning to a lot of people but it's just always the schedule I've been on. I figured I'd wake up, get a few things in order, maybe start my laundry, and then settle down to write my little heart out.

But, that's not exactly the way things worked out. First off, my alarm wasn't on. I didn't even wake up till 10:30. That threw me off my perfect game plan even though it was only thirty minutes. Sometimes that's enough to rattle me. So, I hopped up and avoiding my clothing in the floor that I liked to joke looks like my closet exploded, to go at least give a good morning to my dad since my mom was at work.

This is when another things landed on me. You see, I have a hard enough time trying to focus after I've just woken up. Usually I'm pretty grouchy if someone tries to plan out my day before I'm even coherent. I'm not a coffee drinker but I have considered it from time to time. This morning was no exception because my dad immediately asked me if I wanted to go out today with him and drive around town.

I will omit the evil thoughts I had going through my head from a guy that usually knows better than that. But I tried my best to stay polite and let him know what I had planned to do plus the fact I wasn't all together sure that I had clean laundry.

So, I went back to my room and decided since my day was all ready a bust from how I actually wanted it that I'd attempt to go. Besides, when free food is offered who can say no?

I went through my room and found some clean clothing that I could wear with the mental note that they would definitely have to be washed the next day. It took me a while to get ready to go and by that time I had nearly fallen asleep twice because my dog Jack had come in and snuggled up to me on the bed.

But eventually, I managed to get myself presentable. Knowing my dad's errands actually involved business he had to do and that I would be just driving around waiting for him so he wouldn't get a parking ticket meant I'd have some waiting ahead of me. I grabbed a book on the off chance that I would find a place I could pull over and stop circling like a buzzard to read something.

With all that set and me wearing some decent clothing for when we went by his office, I grabbed up the keys and we headed out. It was about 12:30. Now, the original plans were simply to visit by one college he had to pick up something from and then take it in to the office so they could start working on it. You see, my dad works part time for a printing company.

Anyway, before we got to the college, the plans were all ready changing. Now, there was a second place to go to on the same campus and he didn't know how long that would take him. The first guy had offered that he'd bring it out to my dad if he just called before we got there.

Well, that didn't happen. My dad is a genuinely good guy and he doesn't like people doing more work than they have to especially today since it was exceptionally cold outside. I pulled up outside the building I had seen time and again before to let my dad out. Once he was gone, I began to circle the building. The tedium set in. I was getting fed up with driving in circles because there was no where to park or pull over.

I was about to park illegally somewhere when I came back around towards the building and saw him coming out. I was more than happy to see we were about to leave. By this time I was all ready hungry. Because of my inability to eat after I've gotten up, I had only had a handful of peanuts and it was getting on towards two in the afternoon.

He told me that we would just make this one stop and then on the way to his office we could grab something to eat. I swallowed back the anxiety I was starting to feel and just relaxed. I knew he would take care of me I just had to be patient. I had all ready decided this wasn't going to be the writing day I had hoped. That didn't completely stop my anxiety though.

We went to look for the other building and got lost getting there because things had changed so much since he had last been there. Thankfully this time, there was a parking space I could pull into. This helped immensely so I could shut off the car and read the book I had brought with me. I was able to pull back and not think about the time and just get lost in a book. So, I didn't think to look at the time till dad finally emerged and got back into the car.

It was now after three in the afternoon.

My mind asserted to me that I needed to have something to eat. That I normally ate at noon and it should have been like that. Why hadn't I eaten anything yet? This was the moment I began to spiral out of control. I was barely contained when we finally left the campus and headed towards dad's office.

For a while afterwards, dad was rather oblivious to the turmoil I was going through. Mostly because I had contained it, barely, and he was talking on and on about something or other. I wasn't really paying attention. Eventually, though, I couldn't hide it anymore and I found myself silently crying.

There was no reason for this really. My stomach wasn't growling. I wasn't feeling dizzy. He hadn't said anything to upset me. My mental plans of how a day should go had just been thrown into the figurative blender and spun about messing everything up. At least that was how I saw it.

Finally, he noticed that I was upset and asked if he had said something to upset me. Slowly, we talked everything out and although I didn't blame him for what happened, it was apparent to me that he did. Even as we got to his office, he offered me an out so I could sit outside and take a breather. But even the thought of sitting there alone wasn't helpful. I wanted to be with people. I didn't want to be upset. And...my legs were crying out to move around.

Instead of just hanging out in the front with the secretary that I knew so well, I took a moment to go to the bathroom which gave me a moment to calm down and breathe so I wouldn't break down in the middle of the lobby.

By the time I came out, I was mostly composed and was able to chat with the secretary and one of the other guys who worked there. I even joked around a bit even though I didn't feel like it. One of the jokes I made was to the secretary about how my dad needed to treat his driver a little better. She was hungry and that was her paycheck she wanted to cash in.

I got her in on the ribbing of my dad a bit to try and lighten the situation since he hadn't eaten anything for lunch either. That alone did more to help my state of mind than anything else. The way back was better. True, I was quite eager to get back to a place where we could sit down and eat something. No I didn't speed. But I wanted to.

But in the end, everything turned out all right. I got something to eat. Joked around some more and finally got to go home. Despite my dedication to NaNoWriMo, I knew I wasn't going to do any writing today. I had only eaten something at 4:30 and gotten home at 5:00. It was not a good day to start writing but a very good day to have some personal time to play video games and get my mind off the day I had.

Being an Aspie that day was NOT a good thing. If I didn't have this issue that wouldn't have happened at all I don't think. I would have thought rationally instead of on some schedule of the way I thought things should be. I did the wrong thing and didn't plan for the unexpected side trips that I knew could happen. I thought I could get away with just assuming that everything was going to work out like he said it would.

I learned my lesson that day and I don't think I'll ever forget it. I'm an Aspie every day. Not just once in a while. I need to be honest with myself and say no if I really know something will mess me up. Being more assertive is hard as an Aspie because you aren't really the most outgoing person. But I've found it is so very important when it comes to your mental health.

Keep in mind that while times may be tough once in a while. Things will get better. Eventually, they will just be a memory of a hard time that you managed to overcome. If you are facing a hard time right now, it may not seem like there's going to be an end to it. It may seem like the bad times are there to stay. But that's not true. There are sure to be good times in your life after this. Like I've told people before, how are we to know what the bad times are if we never have the good times to reflect back on?

If things are going bad, keep up the hope for the good. Don't think that it will never end. Everything has an end and it will come to you today, tomorrow, next week, or next month. It might feel like a long time to wait but eventually it will pass like this did for me and you can look back and see that you made it.

That's all from this chic for now. Time for Creative Karma to get back to the books, so to speak.

Myths About Introverts and How They Apply to Aspies

Hey there again everyone.

Well, first a quick update before jumping into my topic.

I have been working on my book, though not as much as I hoped I would, but I figure editing as a go would be easier than to try and edit EVERYTHING after I'm done. Whether that's true or not actually remains to be seen after it's all said and done. Everything is a learning process and I have to start somewhere.

Now, onward to my topic.

Introverts and Aspies. Those two terms are more interchangeable than most people think. Some people that have Aspergers are thought to just be introverts and vice versa.

But what is true is that Aspergers is a social disorder. Like a saying I once heard that I will now edit for my own purposes: All Aspies are introverts but not all introverts are Aspies.

I'm not going to go into here the how and why and what have you about what Aspergers is. What I am going to do is base my post today off a list I saw a while back on the internet about the top ten myths about introverts and give the Aspie side of them from my own point of view. So let's begin.

Myth Number 1 - Introverts and Aspies don't like to talk.

Here is a prime place to start. Yes, Aspergers is a social disorder and those with it tend to avoid social situations in which they would have to talk with people.

However, that doesn't mean that they don't like to talk or won't ever talk.

With the majority of situations I've been in, the conversations around me I tend to look at from a logical perspective. Or rather too logical. I have little time or concern for who is dating who in popular media. Who the US is going to war with. Idle gossip about so and so's friend dating so and so. Etc Etc. You get the picture.

During those times, I can feel my eyes start to glaze over and I forget to look attentive and interested because in my head...why should I be? Most people have told me they hate being lied to and for me that gets taken literally and I'm naturally too honest in every situation. Lately, I've tried to tone that down when it's appropriate and try to be more attentive even when the subject is just not something I'm into but my friend or family member is.

On the flip side of that, you get me talking about movies, books, music, stories and I'm in. This doesn't mean I'm all gun-ho for going to art galleries but I like art and movies and the like and some times people are hard pressed to get me to realize I'm now dominating the conversation. In a way, I haven't been talking this whole conversation and finding something I can actually talk about is like releasing the steam off a valve or a tea kettle or something. It all just starts pouring out because I want to be part of the conversation.

But keep in mind too that just because an Aspie around you has suddenly become very talkative doesn't mean that'll last. A lot of the times once I get all of that out I'm literally done talking for the next few hours because I've worn myself out or I've been made to feel like I should shut up because I've talked over everyone else. Logical? Not really. But hey, it's the truth.

Myth Number 2 - Introverts and Aspies are shy

This again goes hand in hand with the above thoughts. Aspeies are not going to socialize as often as everyone else. Why? Because they get more out of short moments than long ones but that'll come up more later.

I honestly have times where I've been pushed around by my own family members about the fact I should go out and do something. My reaction: Why? Reason: This is because I really need a reason to be social and to talk to someone. I don't do it because I should because to me that's not a valid reason. I talk to people because there is something I want to say because I have a goal in mind that I've been thinking about.

If you want someone around you that's an Aspie to interact, don't wait for someone to do it. Go over there yourself and strike up a conversation. Take it easy on them because they may not be used to it and might have to be eased into it. But if you can get them talking then be warned they might not shut up. But that's a good thing.

Myth Number 3 - Introverts and Aspies are rude

This couldn't be farther from the truth.

I can easily admit there are times I've been confronted about something I've said that offended someone and I was truly shocked. Sure, I'm sure there are some out there who are being rude. Maybe they have a bad home life. Maybe they are having a bad day. Maybe they are self conscious and trying to be louder and haughty to make everyone think otherwise.

As for me, I am usually oblivious to anything I've said that might be offensive because I just don't think that way on a regular basis. I'm generally a very kind person and it takes a lot for me to be truly angry at someone. My tagline around new people once they learn of my Aspie nature has been this: Just know that at some point I might say something that sounds rude or off. IF that happens please stop me and tell me especially if it comes out of left field. I may not know that I've done it and will apologize for it.

This links back in to the fact that those who are Aspies are VERY straight forward when they shouldn't be and can be too harsh. They can be honest to a fault and in most situations that's not the way they should act but they are very unaware of it on the whole. In their minds, they think everyone should be honest.

Despite their honest nature, their efforts to converse can be physically and mentally draining as well and might make them irritable. At which point they might last out or burst into tears because they have been over stimulated in public. Should this happen the BEST thing that anyone can do is for ONE person to take them aside AWAY from the situation and just sit with them quietly while they calm down. Trust me, they will thank you for it later.

Myth Number 4 - Introverts and Aspies don't like people

Actually I happen to love people. I have some very close and beloved friends. The fact alone that I can count my friends on one hand doesn't matter. What matters is that those who have made it to being my friends is me allowing people into my weird little world.

As a person with Aspergers it is hard to open up long enough to let someone in to be a friend. To trust them. Now that they are my friend, I trust them as much if not more than some of my family members. They know things about me that others don't. Currently, everyone I have in my life is someone that has been around since I learned that I have Aspergers. There are a few people I wish were still around but aren't because location, life changes, or they just couldn't understand and handle my wild and wacky ways before I knew it was Aspergers.

Now that these people are in my "inner circle" because I have seen in them something so valuable that I want them around and that I can tell they see me as something more than just a disorder, I find the thought of them not being in my life a dull and colorless notion that I never like to entertain for long.

Once an Aspie is your closest friend, know you can easily have a friend for life.

Myth Number 5 - Introverts and Aspies don't like to go out in public

For this I'm literally going to quote the original word for word:

"Nonsense. Introverts [Aspies] just don't like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don't need to be there for long to 'get it.' They're ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts [Aspies]."

That sums it up better than anything else. There is really nothing more to say on that matter.

Myth Number 6 - Introverts and Aspies always want to be alone

Aspies do like spending SOME time alone. Sometimes it's just a time to process their day. Other times, it's a Saturday they like to fill with things they enjoy doing. No two Aspies are alike in what they like to do but they tend to like to do it alone.

However, they also have times when they've been doing something fun and they long to share it with someone else. They may not expect you to do it with them but they will want to tell you all about it.

I can say for me that there are even times that get so upset that I don't have anyone to share it with that I can be depressed for a few hours.

Keep in mind, you can give them a chance to come out with you and talk and hang out. But don't be upset when they don't want to go. They are probably nervous about going out and having their plans changed on them. Don't get discouraged and think they will never want to go out. Come back another time and try again. They might just surprise you and say yes.

Myth Number 7 - Introverts and Aspies are weird

In a way this is true. Again I'm going to pull from the original here: "They are often individualists. They don't follow the crowd. They'd prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don't make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy."

I know I have ideas and such that aren't traditional. My way of speaking, writing, drawing, moving, or anything else is going to be unique to me. The only thing I'm looking for is someone who can accept my weirdness and see the person underneath all of that.

Myth Number 8 - Introverts and Aspies are aloof nerds

This is completely untrue. I space out from time to time but that's only because I have this inner dialouge running with myself or some imaginary being in my own mind. It stimulates my mind in a way I can control and turn off when I have had enough. That's something no one can do with the world around them.

So people who are Aspies tend to seem aloof or standoffish because they are more confident with the thoughts in their own mind. It's the one place where they won't be berated or expected to do more than they can handle.

Myth Number 9 - Introverts and Aspies don't know how to relax and have fun

Here is something that is a hot issue with me. Everyone has their own idea of what is fun to do. For some they can't handle a day without a trip to the mall. Or a ride on a rollercoaster. Or even going out to a club. But for those with Aspergers, like myself, we like to relax at home or somewhere quiet. Public places aren't relaxing enough to have fun in.

There is so much activity going on that my mind keeps working like someone who is cramming for a major test. Eventually, my mind will get tired and I have to shut down and escape. Just like in introverts, an Aspies mind is too sensitive to everything going on around them and once that is overstimulated all the fun and games are over.

Myth Number 10 - Introverts and Aspies can fix themselves and become Extroverts

This is something that really gets on my nerves. The term "fix" isn't something I believe you can do to a person. You can fix a car, a computer, and a broken vase. But you don't fix a person. Each person is an individual and should be respected for their different temperaments and abilities. Aspies can bring great things to the human race and saying they should be "fixed" and be like everyone else. They all ready don't like conforming to traditional standards but I believe this to be downright disrespectful.

Aspies are intellectual people and can think well enough for themselves. The fact anyone might suggest they need to change to be more outgoing just forces them to ignore those things they can do the best for things people think they should be good at. This can easily deprive others of something valuable that an Aspie can bring to the table.

-End rant-

So there you have it. These myths are very good things to keep in mind about those who are introverts and those who are Aspies.

There are more out there but as a general list it's a great place to start learning about what not to think about in these situations.

Everyone is unique and if you manage to take into account those oddities of friends that aren't diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome then why not take the time to do the same thing for those that are.

New Asperger Project!

Hey there everyone. Your resident AS chic here.

I have to say that as an Asperger person with a side dish of ADD, I find it increasingly difficult to stay focused on even the tasks I enjoy doing.

In my spare time when I'm not freaking out about one thing or another, I used to write on a daily basis. Yeah, they were mostly fan fictions of TV shows or movies or even books I liked but I still wrote. The numerous notebooks next to my desk tells the tale of all the unfinished stories that I started but haven't finished not to mention the ones I started typing on my computer when I ran out of notebooks to write them in.

Considering the age of my laptop...might have to shift a copy of those to my zip drive in case my laptop decides to melt on me in the future.

But, lately, I've come to a sort of...realization.

I was being lazy with my room a wreck behind me as I watched videos on YouTube. That time sucking void people can spend hours merely watching videos of cats and never be heard from again...or a least till some bodily function forces them to grip back on to reality.

But for me, I was watching my newest addiction: Anna Akana. If you haven't watched any of her videos then go check them out. I can say this with utter confidence that you'll have a rebound back to reality because that's what happened to me.

I was catching up on some of her videos I hadn't seen as she only posts new logs on Monday when I came across one talking about our inner muse. And no, for you band lovers it's not the band Muse but that little creative voice in your head that gives you that spark of desire while you are working that infuses you with energy and life and everything flows out easier and better.

While I was watching, her words struck a chord with me. She said that while we expect "the muse" to be some happy little fairy that comes and sprinkles inspiration dust over our heads that gets us up and working...that the muse is more like some lazy roommate laying on the couch drinking beer and eating pizza that notices we are really trying to work and it finally stumbles over and gives us the nudge we need.

And really...that's completely true. Although that may be a "well duh" moment for some, it took someone else voicing it to sink in to my mind.

The muse just doesn't come along, drag me out of a slump, put a pencil in my hand, and put a gun to my head to force me to write. No only I can make myself get up and just start writing and eventually the ideas will just start to flow outwards.

She was right about something else as well. That if you really are dedicated to doing something that it's you that has to do it and if you aren't then you have to be the one to go after what you are really passionate about. To each their own.

It took the rest of the day and most of the next for it all to really sink in and reach those ideas I have buried in my head under the weight of unwatched YouTube videos, reruns of TV shows I've seen a hundred times, and hours playing games on my computer.

Once it unearthed those ideas I had long pushed aside saying I was too tired or too busy, I discovered that if I really wanted those things to happen that I couldn't give excuses any more. I would just have to make time. If that mean not watching another episode of The Walking Dead, Roseanne, or Criminal Minds...well then I would just have to miss it and stay on track. Or get up earlier and I knew that wasn't going to happen without some other motivation.

What does all this have to do about Asperger's?

Well, I've decided to pick my pen back up with a new writing project. The whole point of my blog here is that people just don't know enough about Aspergers. Most people don't even know it exists.

If you go out looking for books on the subject there might be one or two with some personal basis behind it but for the majority they are very formal doctoral things with more medical jargon than you ever wanted to hear on a subject.

What about the people who all ready know they have it or those who have a friend, loved one, or family member who has it and they are having trouble relating to them because of the disorder?

That's my idea. I'm going to take all my personal experiences and knowledge by simply living day to day with Asperger's and write a book.

And the beauty of it is, it's going to be completely unique. No one sees things the exact same way I do. No one can understand the way I comprehend things or the way I get confused by things.

What if by writing out a book where I describe my reactions in various situations like I do here on this blog in a book that more people can get their hands on someone finds out they aren't as alone as they thought? Or maybe that family member, friend, or loved one who is trying to understand better the mind behind their AS other finally can begin to understand the right questions to ask to understand them better.

And this might be far fetched, but what if an employer was looking at an AS person as a candidate for a job and could read this book and see what potential they have within them and get the knowledge they need to give them a chance?

Again, that is pretty far fetched even to me but if one doesn't start dreaming and hoping then how will they ever start reaching for those things they truly want?

Like a quote I saw the other day said: There is only room for doubt or faith in your mind.

If you doubt then you really don't have faith and if you have faith then you are without doubt. Maybe not all the time but you will bounce back and let go of those things you can't control and take hold of those things you can.

So, I'm going to grab hold with both hands and fight for my dreams instead of sitting back and thinking they will never happen. Because they certainly can if I just watch life being lived and don't join in.

I will give updates on my progress as I can. My goal is to write one chapter a day on this story and one for fun so I don't burn out my mind on the same book and let it fall to the wayside.

Keep hope alive and reach for those things you truly want for yourself. If you don't give up that hope then you can get there because no one else can get you where you want to go but yourself.