Well, here is the first official post I suppose of this new blog.
Part of dealing with having AS (Asperger's Syndrome) is dealing with face-to-face communications and interactions with other people.
True, most days people are talking on Skype, some instant messenger provider, Facebook, or through some other chatting format. And while that is the easy way out for someone with AS, it's not necessarily the best way to acclimate to a social environment. That's one big thing that AS people have a serious problem with, as I'm well aware.
So, despite my reservations about going to my cousin's Bachelorette Party along with the knowledge that there would be a lingerie party afterward, I decided to go through with my agreement to come.
The day before the party was, in retrospect, the hardest part of the entire thing.
I found it more than difficult considering I haven't been shopping for new clothing in...what...the past 3 or 4 years. Most of the clothing I had, had been something from high school/college or was something purchased for the express purpose of an interview or a family gathering.
So really...I had nothing by the way of a casual dress that was still formal. I've got formal floor length, I've got business style dresses, club style dresses....despite the fact I've never been to a club in my life. But nothing that I could really be comfortable in for a few hours. Let alone a decent pair of high heels that I could wear and not feel like they were going to fall off my foot, rub my ankle raw, or break my ankle by the end of the evening.
It took me and my mother hours to finally come up with something that was comfortable for me but dressy enough for the evening that was ahead of me.
When the evening arrived, I willingly admit that I was nervous. This was the first time I'd ever been invited to a Bachelorette Party officially. Back when a friend of mine was married they made plans to head out for hers after the rehearsal dinner and I was invited as they were leaving but I declined.
But this time, I was invited and whether or not I went to the lingerie party afterwards would ultimately be determined on whether I was having fun and if I didn't have a headache. One of the unfortunate side effects of having AS is something that's similar to someone with ADD. Noise, movement, distractions, lights. All of these things make one's mind work harder than usual. While the typical person might be able to push those into the back of their mind and ignore them, someone with ADD/ADHD or AS has considerable difficultly blocking those noises out and the constant pounding on their nervous system gives them headaches or stresses them to the point that they must remove themselves from the environment to return to a balanced state.
Well, I knew that it was entirely possible that by the end of dinner I wasn't going to feel like doing anything else but going home and laying down somewhere quiet for a few hours.
But as the night progressed I found, to my great surprise, that not only was I interacting well with the other girls there that I was a complete stranger to but I was having a great time as well. Even with all the talking, noise, constant movement, and balancing conversations I only had one time where I had a headache.
Thankfully, I wasn't in the middle of conversation at the time so I could simply close my eyes for a moment and take slow breaths to help my mind balance come back and for the headache to go away.
With my headache out of the way and dinner over, I found that not only did I feel up to the task of staying for the rest of the party...I wanted to. A very unlikely course for me for those that know me.
I'm not the partying type. My idea of staying up late is VCing with a couple of friends on Skype and goofing off on the game Second Life or Facebook. Yeah, a party animal I am not.
This was definitely a break through moment for me. In the past, I would have only thought about how much I wanted to be home to have my computer time with my friends. I can truly say that for that night I managed to survive the seemingly insurmountable wall that is the lack of social skills that most AS people lack.
By the time I got back home, I was worn and tired but still happy. I wasn't overwhelmed or feeling upset because of the amount of conversation and noise that I had to deal with. For once, I was able to simply be in the moment and phase out all the things around me that normally would have distracted me and worn me down.
I have to say that I believe the main reason for this success was not only my will power but the lack of pressure that I usually feel from my family to run a constant dialogue or doing the right thing at the right time. That helped me to stay relaxed and made the night the fun night it should be and not a chore that needed to be gotten through as quickly as possible.
This is really a lesson that most people need to learn. People with disabilities that are called "high functioning" can, if they have set their minds to it, can really accomplish much more than others around them might think they can. So, for this post, I'm going to end with a quote that seems quite fitting.
"Always be a first rate version of yourself, rather than a second rate version of someone else." -Judy Garland
Part of dealing with having AS (Asperger's Syndrome) is dealing with face-to-face communications and interactions with other people.
True, most days people are talking on Skype, some instant messenger provider, Facebook, or through some other chatting format. And while that is the easy way out for someone with AS, it's not necessarily the best way to acclimate to a social environment. That's one big thing that AS people have a serious problem with, as I'm well aware.
So, despite my reservations about going to my cousin's Bachelorette Party along with the knowledge that there would be a lingerie party afterward, I decided to go through with my agreement to come.
The day before the party was, in retrospect, the hardest part of the entire thing.
I found it more than difficult considering I haven't been shopping for new clothing in...what...the past 3 or 4 years. Most of the clothing I had, had been something from high school/college or was something purchased for the express purpose of an interview or a family gathering.
So really...I had nothing by the way of a casual dress that was still formal. I've got formal floor length, I've got business style dresses, club style dresses....despite the fact I've never been to a club in my life. But nothing that I could really be comfortable in for a few hours. Let alone a decent pair of high heels that I could wear and not feel like they were going to fall off my foot, rub my ankle raw, or break my ankle by the end of the evening.
It took me and my mother hours to finally come up with something that was comfortable for me but dressy enough for the evening that was ahead of me.
When the evening arrived, I willingly admit that I was nervous. This was the first time I'd ever been invited to a Bachelorette Party officially. Back when a friend of mine was married they made plans to head out for hers after the rehearsal dinner and I was invited as they were leaving but I declined.
But this time, I was invited and whether or not I went to the lingerie party afterwards would ultimately be determined on whether I was having fun and if I didn't have a headache. One of the unfortunate side effects of having AS is something that's similar to someone with ADD. Noise, movement, distractions, lights. All of these things make one's mind work harder than usual. While the typical person might be able to push those into the back of their mind and ignore them, someone with ADD/ADHD or AS has considerable difficultly blocking those noises out and the constant pounding on their nervous system gives them headaches or stresses them to the point that they must remove themselves from the environment to return to a balanced state.
Well, I knew that it was entirely possible that by the end of dinner I wasn't going to feel like doing anything else but going home and laying down somewhere quiet for a few hours.
But as the night progressed I found, to my great surprise, that not only was I interacting well with the other girls there that I was a complete stranger to but I was having a great time as well. Even with all the talking, noise, constant movement, and balancing conversations I only had one time where I had a headache.
Thankfully, I wasn't in the middle of conversation at the time so I could simply close my eyes for a moment and take slow breaths to help my mind balance come back and for the headache to go away.
With my headache out of the way and dinner over, I found that not only did I feel up to the task of staying for the rest of the party...I wanted to. A very unlikely course for me for those that know me.
I'm not the partying type. My idea of staying up late is VCing with a couple of friends on Skype and goofing off on the game Second Life or Facebook. Yeah, a party animal I am not.
This was definitely a break through moment for me. In the past, I would have only thought about how much I wanted to be home to have my computer time with my friends. I can truly say that for that night I managed to survive the seemingly insurmountable wall that is the lack of social skills that most AS people lack.
By the time I got back home, I was worn and tired but still happy. I wasn't overwhelmed or feeling upset because of the amount of conversation and noise that I had to deal with. For once, I was able to simply be in the moment and phase out all the things around me that normally would have distracted me and worn me down.
I have to say that I believe the main reason for this success was not only my will power but the lack of pressure that I usually feel from my family to run a constant dialogue or doing the right thing at the right time. That helped me to stay relaxed and made the night the fun night it should be and not a chore that needed to be gotten through as quickly as possible.
This is really a lesson that most people need to learn. People with disabilities that are called "high functioning" can, if they have set their minds to it, can really accomplish much more than others around them might think they can. So, for this post, I'm going to end with a quote that seems quite fitting.
"Always be a first rate version of yourself, rather than a second rate version of someone else." -Judy Garland
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